Oh boy... what a day!! First off, it's Easter! So, Happy Easter! Just wanted to say that I am so thankful to be a member of the true Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is such a blessing to me, especially to be born in this day and age in America and as a member of the only true and fully restored church on this lovely and beautiful earth. I am thankful for all that I have, and I know that the things, good and bad, that happen to me are for a reason and that I can overcome all and that I don't need to feel alone or misunderstood because Christ loves me so much that he died for me and paid the ultimate price for my mistakes. It is the best love story there is out there and every single one of us are apart of it. Everything has brought me to where I am today, from that day where He was born, to all the miracles He performed, to when He carried out the Atonement and then died on the cross, to having a farm boy pray in the 1800's in a forest by his house, to the Saints who gave their lives for the truth, to the almost worldwide existence of the church and to all it brings us from the Sacrament, to blessings and miracles, to the activities, to the music, to the living Prophets and Apostles, to comfort and knowledge and sanity, to the family community, FOR EVERYTHING!! I could seriously go on and on and on about how great it is to live like this and have a knowledge of all the gifts and blessings we ALL have. I just absolutely love being a member of this church, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
So, my heart is full and overflowing. All day long. It started off by watching that cheesy video from the 80's "Easter Dream", for a while I forgot kinda what Easter was all about, and I remembered other things and remade connections while watching this video. So, all day I was thinking about the testimony I just typed, except in my mind my testimony sounds more beautiful and real in my head, and then when I try to say it it doesn't come out the way I want it to, it comes out the way it is meant to, which is even better I suppose.
Before Church was great, it was nice and relaxing, I wore my 40's dress and looked super adorable, we ate candy and I was in a state of appreciation and love for my Savior and all these other things, too. Before Sacrament meeting started was wonderful, too! I talked to Cal a bunch, let's just face it, he's the best and always will be! I love it that we're friends, I hope we always will be, he just makes me happy when I'm around him!! I love that he's his own person and you can just tell he's an amazing guy right from the start. :) :) So that was going all dandy until Bishop got up to the stand, and announced we'd have some releases from callings, no big deal, right? It's probably just some Primary workers or Scout leaders as usual. WRONG. W R O N G. He said Sister Brague;s name, and then Sister Kimball's, and then Sister Hendrix's, and I thought I misheard that, as I looked around all the YW had this look of horror on their faces. Guess I heard right. My heart sunk as he listed off all of the YW leader's names... I was shocked, and probably had a frightened look on my face because I could see Sister Schaeler looking at me from the organ and she had this sorry look on her face, like she could sense my pain... I didn't really have an emotional response, I thought it was a joke or a misprint. Nope. He called the new names for the Presidencies and advisors... sadly, I didn't recognize many of them... and the ones I did recognize, I (regrettably) wasn't too thrilled that they'd be joining me in YW's.. I kept telling myself that they were called from God and that this is for the best, I just didn't want to believe myself. I tried and gave myself a hopeful outlook on these leaders and tried to give them another chance. I remember first walking into the Montelena ward YW and not being too thrilled with the leaders, but thankfully and quickly I learned to love them and they were the best leaders I've ever had!! I could tell that I might need to open myself up to my new leaders, because they don't seem like my ideal advisor personalities... but I'll try to get over it, and maybe I'm wrong!
I forgot about it during Sunday School when Brother Fairbanks was showing us his photos from his biannual trips to Israel. I so want to go there!!! I loved looking at the photos projected on the ceiling! ;) I would love to do a 6 month study abroad there if I ever went to BYU, but that's not very likely! I'm most likely gonna stay at home and go to ASU. But do what, exactly? That I have no clue.
Anyways, when SS was over it was time to go to YW's. Oh yeah. I forgot. My two favorite leaders are leaving me. Not to mention half of our YW!! A few are moving in the next few weeks, half of our Laurel class just turned 18 and now have callings in Primary or are going to Single's Ward, and now we have a new Presidency!! It was a ROUGH time in there. Everyone was crying their eyes out. I was okay at the beginning, that is until I saw Sister Brague crying while we were saying the YW Theme, I know how special that is to her. She can't hear all that well, so for prayers and such she can't hear them. So she said that she loves to be in there and hear us firmly and loudly say the theme in unison, because she can hear and feel that. It was so tender knowing that that would be her last time to hear it with all of us, and seeing her knowing that. So I said it loud. And then I started crying halfway through. And then she and her 2 counselors bore their testimonies which made everyone start bawling. Our new President Sister Casper got up and bore hers, too. She is so quiet, very different from Sister Brague who is loud and out there. I'm sure gonna miss her!! :'( I'll always love that whenever she was stressing out about anything, she'd come to me and let it all out. Especially in Nauvoo, or even at Mutual.. we always had a great relationship, and I'm gonna miss just talking and reassuring her that everything is going to be fine!! ;) I was her favorite. No lies. ;)
And then we split into classes... and then they had Sister Hendrix bear her testimony, and that really got to me. Especially because she called me out and mentioned me while saying that she'll Facebook stalk me and then proceeded to mention that I got asked to Prom and all the Laurel's started to squeal and were so excited for me... haha! That's not the first time that happened today either! Wes in SS asked me who asked me and a few girls did the same thing.. weird! I still think it's so weird that I'm going to Prom........ Anyways, it was the hardest to say bye to those two. They were the ones who reached out to me and started the friendship, I'm so glad I got to know these lovely ladies on a deeper level, and they were perfect for me when I needed them! I'm the type of person who only needs a few good friends at a time, and when they leave as they typically do, I get upset. But I know I'll be okay. Even though Sister Hendrix moved about a few months ago out of our ward boundaries, Bishop let her stay and keep her calling which was a blessing to me, she'll be actually out of my ward now, and that's going to be the hardest. We are both big time dorks, and always messed around with each other and goofed off being our weird selves. I just love all of my leaders, they are definitely called of God and are what I needed. I guess we all need new people now to guide and leave their own marks on us.. it's just super hard to let them go. :( So, after class was over, we said our goodbyes and hugged. Neither of the three of us hug, we only do it a bare minimum of times. But today was an exception. I cried more when they were talking to me one on one, and they both said great things about me. I hope that they could feel the same from me, since I couldn't get out what I was feeling in words. HATE THAT. So, I hugged, cried, wiped off the tears on the way down the hallway by myself, got a few weird looks from people, and tried to fight back tears, which came back when I saw my mom. I ran up to hug her and started crying some more! Brother Cluff was just staring at me while I was crying. Lovely. Haha!
And then we had family over for dinner/dessert which was fun as usual. Now Maizey is making fun of me and doing the Bernie. Weirdo.
So, all in all, my heart was really really happy at the beginning of the day, and towards the middle it crashed and burned, and as Anne Shirley says, "I'm in the depths of despair." is exactly what I was feeling. I'm beginning to realize that I'm emotionally unstable. Haha ;) I can't be sad because there's so much to be exceedingly happy for, but I can't enjoy that to it's full extent because the sadness is terribly heartbreaking. And it just goes in a circle, until I don't know what to do with myself! haha I guess you'd classify me as an atypical typical teenage girl.
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